The Trials and Tribulations of Jim and Sebastian
by I.Weave.Dreams
Summary: Whether it's hunting for lost good luck charms or killing royalty, Jim Moriarty and Sebastian Moran conquer the tasks together, shedding a little blood along the way. A peak into the life of the world's most dangerous criminals.


**Author's Note: This is going to be a series of vignettes, and will have no chronological order. This story is currently rated T. It may change to M later on, depending on what I write. Enjoy!**

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><p>Sebastian rummaged through the dresser drawers, roughly pushing aside old newspaper clippings, discarded jewels, a bullet or two here and there, the odd bone fragment and tooth, razor blades, half-empty bottles of cyanide and acid, poker chips, and ties, endless amounts of ties.<p>

"Are you looking for something, darling?" Jim Moriarty drawled from his position on the king-sized bed against the back wall.

"Why do you have so much fucking stuff?" Sebastian growled. He nicked his finger on a broken bottle, and cursed, bringing the digit up to his mouth to soothe.

"You know how I like to collect things…Sentiment and all."

"You're a bloody hoarder, is what you are." Sebastian slammed the bottom drawer shut and turned around, swiping the back of his hand across his forehead.

He breathed in and out deeply, his temper rising. He looked at his boss, who was absentmindedly stroking the gaudy gold duvet with one hand as he sat cross-legged at the edge of the bed. Jim had stolen the duvet from a middle-eastern prince he'd had Sebastian kill a couple months back. And he /still/ wouldn't let Sebastian remove the bloodstain in the middle of it, no matter how many times he asked.

In the other hand he had a cup of tea. There was a curious streak of dark red liquid running down the side of the white cup. Sebastian had once joked that it was Jim's habit of drinking the blood of his enemies that made him so mad in the head sometimes. Now he was wondering if his boss had taken the comment as more of a suggestion than something to laugh at.

"Alright, out with it. What have you done with it this time?" Sebastian crossed his arms over his chest and leaned against the dresser.

Jim smiled, looking the picture of innocence. "I haven't a clue what you're talking about, Sebby. Do be more frank. Subtlety never suited you."

Sebastian scowled. "My rabbit's foot. My lucky rabbit's foot. I know you've taken it again."

Whenever Jim got bored, /really/ bored, he started messing with Sebastian's things. Once he'd dyed every single one of Sebastian's shirts pink. Then set them on fire. While he was wearing one of them. Another time he'd taken all of Sebastian's things in their bedroom, and nailed them on the outside of the house. It'd taken forever for Sebastian to get them off, and more than half of his things were ruined.

But his favorite thing to do, was to steal Sebastian's lucky rabbit's foot, and hide it somewhere in the house. He knew how much the single, tiny object meant to Sebastian.

Jim could destroy everything else of his and Sebastian wouldn't even blink. But that lucky foot meant something to him. It was the first thing he'd ever shot, human or animal, and he'd made the charm himself. He'd only been eight years old at the time. It was then he discovered where his talents lied, and knew he'd grow up with a gun in his hand, day and night, shooting whatever he set his sights on. First it was for his country, now it was for its destruction. Or whatever Jim Moriarty wanted.

Jim brought the cup up to his mouth, speaking into. "Oh, that old thing? I've gotten rid of it." He took a sip, and watched Sebastian over the rim, his keen eyes flashing with mischief.

Sebastian's hands balled, his chipped and damaged fingernails biting into his palms. He resisted the urge to throttle his boss, knowing he'd regret it sooner rather than later. However, he wasn't in the mood to play Jim's games today. His mouth quirked up into a forced smile, and he turned around stiffly to begin his search again.

"Not to worry though, darling, I've gotten you something much better to replace it."

Sebastian heard Jim slide off the bed, his cup clinking on the night stand before he disappeared out of the room. He shook his head and kept digging.

A few minutes later, Jim returned without a sound, causing Sebastian to jump when he felt something cold and metal slide around his neck. He spun around to face Jim, his heart rate calming almost as soon as it had spiked. His boss had the uncanny ability to move like a ghost when he wanted to. He was the only one who'd ever been able to sneak up on Sebastian.

Sebastian stared down at the metal chain that now adorned his neck. What caught his attention most, however, was the object hanging from it.

A human foot hung from the necklace, a men's size eight if he was any judge. It was perfectly manicured, almost plastic-looking. And there was a peculiar smell coming from it. Not necessarily unpleasant, but definitely foreign to Sebastian.

Sebastian grabbed the foot, turning it this way and that. He was unsure what to think. Although he'd been with Jim for a long time now, and knew he shouldn't be surprised anymore, he still couldn't help but feel somewhat shocked.

"I've had it preserved and all that to make sure it doesn't rot. And even if it does, we can always get you a new one." Jim shrugged in that off-hand manner of his.

Sebastian pinched a toe between his fingers, wondering who this foot belonged to and what they'd done to piss Jim Moriarty off. He would like to guess, if he wasn't being too presumptuous, that it belonged to someone important, not just your Average Joe. Royalty, perhaps. Or a particularly nasty enemy.

Sebastian let the foot drop just as Jim asked, "Do you like it?" His eyes were wide and bright. He looked positively gleeful. Or as gleeful as Jim Moriarty can appear. There was a touch of insanity and a hint of malice present as well, as there always was.

So this was Jim's idea of a good luck charm. The man he worked for, lived with, loved, had gotten him a lucky human's foot. Sebastian wasn't sure how he felt about wearing some dead bloke's foot around his neck, but the look on Jim's face was so expectant, so strangely alive, that he couldn't do anything but smile, matching his lover's beaming grin with his own. "I love it."

He'd never wear the thing outside, of course. It was too big and bulky. But he'd wear it for Jim, in their house, now and again when Jim started to get bored.

Jim pressed into him, running his hands up Sebastian's thighs, then across his waist, his fingers dipping into the band of his trousers. Sebastian licked his lips, shivers running through his body. Jim grabbed the back of his neck and smashed their mouths together, a sudden fever seeming to take over him. The kiss was heated and unskilled at first, full of want and desire, replacing the sentiment that had just passed between them. Jim never liked things to get outbalanced.

Sebastian was huffing as they paused for a moment to breathe. Jim had moved onto his neck now, nipping sharply. It took a lot of strength for Sebastian to get his next words out. But he knew he had to if he wanted any chance of getting his rabbit's foot back. If he left it for too long, Jim would honestly forget where he'd put it. There was so much going on in that brain of his.

"As much as I love the gift, Jim, where'd you put my rabbit's foot?"

Jim nipped his neck again, and Sebastian winced. "I think you'll find," his breath tickled Sebastian's neck, "if you look, that it's been with you all this time." Jim pulled away and looked down between them. Sebastian's eyes followed.

There hung his lucky rabbit's foot, attached to the metal chain the hung from his belt loops. Sebastian's mind flashed to Jim running his hands up his thighs, and he realized that he must have slipped it back on without his notice.

Sebastian smirked, pleasure running through him despite being outwitted by his lover. It was nothing new to him. After all, Jim was the only one who could claim such a thing.

"My apologies, boss." Sebastian went to kiss Jim, but he pulled away, and backed up slowly.

"I think you know, Sebby, that you're going to have to do a lot more to earn my forgiveness." He turned his back and went to the dresser. He rummaged around for only a moment. Despite the mess, Jim knew where everything was. Because it's just where he'd put it.

He walked back over to Sebastian, moving his arms from behind his back. In one hand was a razorblade, and the other, a black tie with little white skulls on it. There was a wicked smile on Jim's face.

Sebastian smirked in return, wetting his lips. "How would you like me to apologize first, boss?"

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! What did you think? Do you like Seb and Jim together? Reviews are loved and appreciated!<strong>


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